First, we should not be afraid of trying to be successful. We should be making a difference in the lives of those we serve. That means that we should hope for some change in each young person we serve.
Second, we should be able to notice that change. What we do should matter in a significant way. That doesn't mean that change will be huge or instant, but something will be different because of our ministry. We just have to train ourselves to look for those changes.
Third, success should be appropriate. We should use appropriate methods that maintain a high standard of integrity, transparency, and authentic concern for the well-being of those we serve.
Finally, success has short-term and long-term considerations. In the short term, it is not appropriate to believe that one weekend is enough time to take a teenager who has a marginalized faith and have him commit to the priesthood by Sunday night. Nor is it reasonable that a few months of sacramental preparation is enough for a person to fully understand the way God works through the grace of the sacrament. The short-term goals for retreats, conferences, and faith formation programs should be incremental growth. A long-term consideration needs to be thought of in years or decades. If a teenager stumbles into a youth ministry program with no faith background, it will be very important that they continue to explore their faith in their young adult years and continue to be embraced by strong, faith mentors into adulthood.
There is one thing missing in this understanding of success, though. It is important to remember how generally insignificant the work we do is in the lives of young people. Not the pep talk you expected, right? But, it's true. We have to think of ourselves as the third string quarterback in the game of forming young people. The role that parents have in shaping the future faith of their children is demonstrably stronger than our influences. And, there are other influences that tend to be stronger than us as well: friends, teachers, coaches, celebrities, strangers, memes, pets, and billboards to name a few.
The ultimate protagonist in the way that people grow in their faith is the Holy Spirit. I once heard a great youth ministry guru describe a time when he put a ton of effort into leading a youth retreat. He had a great venue booked, had a great team, selected great speakers and the perfect songs to summarize their day. It was the perfect plan. But, the retreat didn't cut it. The teens were generally disconnected. It was as if God did not show up. He did everything he could to pave the way for a spiritual encounter, but it wasn't enough. The key ingredient was missing. As he was telling the story, all of us youth ministry leaders could think of several times where we had a similar experience. We did everything right and still didn't succeed. There is an important lesson there. It's not really about us. We are merely a means to an end. We need to remember that.
But, the story continues. After the retreat was over, and everyone left, there was one teen hanging around waiting for his parents to pick him up. The wise guru was furious with the teens for not getting more into the retreat, angry with his team for not executing his plan perfectly, and even more disappointed with God for abandoning him and embarrassing him. His attention was so focused on his pain, that he failed to see the young person be overcome with an authentic encounter of the Holy Spirit in that quiet time. In that stillness, God showed up. The youth ministry guru finished packing, was about to call the delinquent parents of this teenager when he noticed the small tear in the young man's eye. The teen said that he never felt God's presence more than at that moment. All the guru could do was listen, and repent in his heart for the sin of pride.
At the same time, it is wrong to say that the Holy Spirit bears all the responsibility so that we can wash our hands of our responsibility. We have work to do, too. Our task is to prepare the way for the Holy Spirit to come in and do the rest. We are ambassadors of God, speaking on His behalf so that others will come to know his voice.
The goal of our ministry with young people, then, is this:
As ambassadors of an ever-loving God,
meeting each person where they are,
walking with them,
one step at a time,
using appropriate methods,
at an appropriate pace
that is responsive to their situation
so they may grow deeper
into the fullness of life that God offers for them.