I discovered in parish ministry that teens basically fell into two camps. Those who wanted to be there and were open. And those who were forced to be there, and for whom religion was generally disconnected from their daily lives. To make this a bit more easy to put our fingers on, here’s a little ditty about Jack and Diane….
Jack is a sophomore in high school. He is predominantly focused on his high school athletic career, being liked (or feared) by his peers, and having a good time on the weekend. His family used to attend Mass on Christmas and Easter, but have drifted away. He doesn’t really think about matters of faith ever. He was signed up for the Confirmation class because both of his parents had to do it when they were his age and it’s what his grandmother would expect.
Diane is totally different. Her family is very active in the life of the parish community. She is also a sophomore and is relatively active in high school activities, too. Her family is at Mass every weekend and she is grateful for those times to learn about her faith and encounter Christ in the Sacraments. He has a copy of the YouCat (Youth Catechism) and “Prayers for Teens” by her bed and she frequently pages through them for daily inspiration. She was very excited to be confirmed this year.
The Church responds to these two very different teens according to their needs.
Jack is very ignorant and apathetic about his faith. He hasn’t been to church or any kind of faith formation for years, so the parish requires him to take a twenty week course that meets on Wednesday nights for 90 minutes each week. These classes are taught by a teacher who is very passionate about the teachings of the Church. The 90 minutes are spent reading from a text book. The teacher comes excited each week and wonders why the students in this remedial faith formation program don’t want to openly talk about the content with more excitement. At the end of the year, all of the students are reminded of how much the Church is boring and doesn’t really care about them. Additionally, the teacher was so disillusioned by the apathy of the teens, that she resigns and starts to wonder if there is any reason for her to stay active in her faith. Sound familiar?
Diane is very excited about her faith. She is very comfortable with talking about her faith and wants to explore the depth of her faith with other teens her age. She has very deep questions about life and wishes the church would guide her through those questions. Because she is such an active Catholic, the parish does not provide any classes for her. Instead, she is invited to the “Youth Group”. Youth Group meets on Sunday nights for about 60 minutes until whenever people leave. There usually isn’t anything planned except a game and some snacks. Most of the teens who show up are socially needed and do not have friends outside of the program. They are coming mostly to get out of the house, eat snacks, and play games. After coming to six youth group meetings, Diane has learned that the Church doesn’t really care about her needs. No one is challenging her or taking faith seriously. The adults at youth group are glad to see her but are not equipped to walk with her in her faith.
Jack and Diane both leave their programs convinced that they do not have a home in the Church.
Now, imagine if these programs were switched. Imagine if Diane was able to opt in to a class about religion with an adult who was excited to share that with her. Even if Diane was the only student who would actually choose to be there, wouldn’t that be a great experience for both the teacher and the student(s)?
What we are missing in our ministry is a deliberate quest to understand the people we are serving and their unique faith readiness phase. This would be similar to a doctor treating illnesses without first doing a diagnosis. What if you went to see the doctor and there was no time for the doctor to ask you anything about why came in. The doctor gives you a random prescription for heartburn and sends you on your way. Would you ever see that doctor again?
The diagnosis matters, doesn’t it!
Imagine if Jack could go to a program where he would be able to attend a youth group where he was valued where he was instead of punished. After a few weeks, I’m sure the adults would recognize his leadership potential and have him help lead some of the games. Maybe after a few months of intentional social programming, Jack would be willing to lean into some prayer experiences and maybe open his heart to spending time in prayer outside of the program. Maybe if we let Jack have some control over how he was engaged in the faith that he would be less resistant, and gradually grow to be open to faith experience. Years from now, maybe he would be so comfortable in his Catholic faith that he would be interested in the same kind of class that Diane is in now.
Maybe…
In due time…
By recognizing what we are trying to do for which audience, we might actually realize that we are doing great things. We just have to find a way to meet the needs of the people we are serving, rather than just stay in our programmatic ruts.